A Friend

Would you consider yourself to be a friend? Do you have people in your life that you would call your friend? You may be wondering what it means to be a friend. A friend is a person with whom you can be yourself. That’s right, you can be yourself. A friend doesn’t expect you to be better or worse and when you are with a friend, you don’t have to put up your guard. A friend is a person who understands you and allows you to laugh with them, cry with them, sing with them and they are willing to tolerate you through all of your downfalls. I guess you could sum up a friend as one who sees who you really are and they still love you. Henry Durbanville said that a friend is the “first person who comes in when the whole world goes out”.

The following questions were posed to a group of people in an attempt to help them identify true friends. Who are the five wealthiest people in the world? Who won the last five Heisman trophies? Who are ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize? Who won the last ten World Series? After thinking about the above questions and realizing they didn’t know the answers, the following questions were asked to the group. Who is the teacher who aided you during your school journey? Who are three people who have come to your side during difficult times? Who are five people who have taught you something worthwhile? Who are five people who make you feel special? Who are the people you enjoy spending time with? The people who are making the difference in your life are those who care about you. In other words, you are important to them. Likewise, the people that you care for are the people with whom you are making a difference.

To enhance your friendship with others, you should be committed to the friendship. You should always express your appreciation to your friends by your words and actions. People need to feel appreciated. You should keep your conversations positive even when you have to speak words that may seem hard. Also, value the time that you spend together. Your time may not be just about your needs. Your time spent with others should make an everlasting difference in their lives. You should also be sure to encourage your friends on their spiritual journey. Spend time praying with them and for them, spend time sharing with them and worshipping with them. These are a just few simple guidelines that will help us be a true friend.

“There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).



Accurate Benchmarks

Accurate Benchmarks


bench mark: a mark on a permanent object indicating elevation and serving as a reference in topographic surveys and tidal observations

2a : a point of reference from which measurements may be made

b : something that serves as a standard by which others may be measured or judged

c : a standardized problem or test that serves as a basis for evaluation or comparison (as of computer system performance)[1]

Have you ever considered the “Benchmarks” in your life? Imagine the point of references that we use in our life every day. Every area of our life is driven by a benchmark of some kind. For example, our view of marriage is most likely based on the marriage of our parents. Our view of parenting is most likely based on the way our parents raised us. Our view of “the Church” is probably based on our understanding of the church in which we were raised. Our view of worship is based on the way we have always worshipped. The way we handle adversity, good times, sickness, etc. is a learned characteristic of our life. Our past has been very influential in forming the person that we are today.

Basically, family, friends and tradition have been our “Benchmarks”. Our lives, for the most part, are based on what we have experienced. My question is, “Where does truth fit in to my benchmarks?” How is it that people will make decisions based on what their family says and disregard the truth? How is it that one’s friend will bear more weight in decision-making than the truth? Or, how does tradition have the preeminence over truth?

Are your “Benchmarks” accurate?


[1] Merriam-Webster, I. (2003).Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc.